SusanIsk.com

Last night I had a dream that I fell while riding up an escalator and crushed part of my jaw. In researching dream meanings, I learned that riding up an escalator signifies success, but falling on the way up indicates that there will be a struggle on the way up.

I have a vacation coming up; I’m going to Utah with my parents for a week starting Friday. Sounds like a blast, doesn’t it? In truth, I’m looking forward to sleeping in, going to bed while it’s still light out, hiking at Zion, Bryce Canyon and Arches National Parks, staying at the Stein Eriksen Lodge and free meals.

I don’t understand why more people my age don’t want to travel with their parents; sure, it’s not as “cool” as going with your friends, but why pass up a week in a beautiful part of the country with the only people who you can really count on?

Back to that escalator dream. I know that I will be successful in my life because I have done everything to ensure that happens: a strong work ethic, a strong academic background, good networking skills and a set of ethics that I stand behind. Right now, however, I’m struggling: my goals aren’t being recognized and I feel like I’m sitting around waiting for something to happen.

I’m looking forward to some self-reflection during my week away from “the grind.” I hope to figure out how to ride that escalator while keeping my jaw in tact. If that fails, I hope to at least capture some kick-ass photographs.

I’m a very active gal. Between running up and down the office halls, to working out at the gym, to Bikram yoga in 105 degree heat, I’m always on the move.

Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot about the dangers of typical underarm deodorant. Take, for example, this (old, I know) article from the BBC:

Chemicals from underarm deodorants and other cosmetics can build up inside the body, according to a study. British researchers have found traces of chemicals called parabens in tissue taken from women with breast cancer…Dr Philippa Darbre and colleagues at the University of Reading carried out tests on samples of 20 different human breast tumours. Writing in the Journal of Applied Toxicology, they say they found traces of parabens in every sample.

So, keeping the above in mind, I set out to replace my traditional under-arm deodorant with an all-natural counterpart.

First, I purchased a stick from Tom’s of Maine, the well-known organic products company. Their product made me itch. Nothing is more attractive than sitting in a suit-and-tie meeting with the strong desire to itch one’s underarms.

Next, I purchased the Trader Joe’s unscented cotton deodorant. I put it on this morning for the first time, and before I had the chance to get in my car to head to another suit-and-tie meeting, I could already sense that I didn’t smell so fresh.

Someone recommended the Crystal Body Deodorant Rock (basically a rock of all natural ingredients that you rub on your pits), but the idea of it is just a bit too hippie, even for me.

So where does that leave me? Am I doomed to itch and smell using an all natural product, or to increase my chances of life-threatening illness using traditional deodorant? Can anyone help me? I’m feeling down in the pits…

So, I have an issue. I’m sure a lot of kids my age, who have just started out on their own, are in the same predicament: not owning a kitchen table.

I associate purchasing and accumulating “stuff” with settling, and I am not content with my life to give in and settle. I eat one meal each day at home – dinner (breakfast and lunch are consumed at my office desk); and lately, my dinners have been prepared using my old-school Weber grill (thanks to Marijean, I now know that I need to invest in an as-seen-on-tv Grill Daddy to clean my barbeque pit).

Obviously, barbequed food can be messy, and with no kitchen table, I’m in somewhat of a lurch. I have two options – I can sit on my living room couch, plate in lap; or, I can sit in my bedroom, where the bed doubles as a chair that doubles as a desk for my laptop that doubles as a couch. The second option has been chosen these past few weeks because it allows me to catch up on the Tivo, which I keep in my bedroom.

I am a very hygienic person; I do things like wash my hands almost compulsively and change my bed sheets every Friday. Last night, as I consumed my grilled buffalo soy chicken patty on my green duvet cover, I grossed myself out at the fact that I was eating on the bed where I sleep. So, I ripped my sheets off my bed and, because I don’t own a washer or dryer, deposited them in the neighbors’ washer that is kept in the basement (neighbors, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I didn’t ask permission – I owe you a Weber-grilled burger). I took the freshly washed sheets upstairs to dry on the line and slept in a sleeping bag for the night.

At 23, the scene above sounds silly. I wonder when I’ll decide that I’m ready to be a grownup and invest in a table and chairs and a dryer. I’m getting closer, but I don’t see any dinette sets on my horizon.

I just used CNN’s Work/life balance calculator. For 23 years old, I appear to be fairly balanced. Why is it though, that I feel so tired and stretched too thin all of the time?

One year ago today, I began working. In my hand-written journal from May 4, 2007, I wrote:

I have a job after graduation … at a public relations firm. I start June 1. I graduate May 19. That gives me 10 days to move, unpack, prepare and figure out how to do whatever my job entails.

I have no idea what I ended up doing during those 10 days. The fact that I had 10 “me” days between graduation and work just makes me ache a bit, since that is the exact amount of “me” time I’m now allowed to take over an entire year. I know that I should have savored those 10 days, but I didn’t, and how could I have known? Having a job has made me appreciate “me” time so much more.

Over the course of the next year, I am going to work hard to draw the line between work time and “me time.” I am also going to relax just a little bit more, because, despite all of the challenges I’m sure I have presented to my employer over the past year, I have maintained steady employment for a year, and surprisingly, many of my similarly-aged peers, have not.

One year of employment down, (and depending on Social Security) 47 left to go…